He couldn’t stay.

to wish us all a Happy New Year. He had to go before the wishbone was fought over after Thanksgiving dinner and before he could receive the pile of boxed chocolates that came his way every Christmas. My dad couldn’t hang around for one more winter in the sun…he didn’t have even a second more to enjoy the fresh cup of coffee my mom had just brewed. With one breath…poof…he had to go.

I thought I’d blog about resolutions for 2009 with some of them being inspired by my father, but instead, I just want to share a little of him with you.

A blue-eyed blond Scandinavian with long legs, broad shoulders and hands roughly the size of dinner plates. I get my hands from him and an interesting eyebrow trick. We both could raise the left one severely while the right eyebrow didn’t move. We would do that to each other during some of our sillier discussions.

Through his life he was a boxer, a philosopher, a basketball player, a peacemaker later but when his daughters were young a dad who could scare potential boyfriends away with a single glance…or sometimes no acknowledgment at all, a commodities broker and a farmer. Mostly, he was a husband and a father. He had a gift for understanding the markets more than most and was really wise with his money yet he would always say his nine kids were his investment with the most potential.

He was funny without trying and would make awesome faces while telling or reacting to stories.

He let others take the spotlight often and listened so well. Even if he had heard the punch line sixteen times, he would always laugh in support upon hearing it again.

As a young guy while in California he was approached by some Hollywood producers. He turned down the opportunity and told them that actors would have a life that seemed “too fake” for him.

So, yes, he was the real deal. Not a big fan of inane small talk-but gracious enough when someone approached him with it to interact.

He didn’t think people should spend so much of their money on “junk”. And he would classify a lot of things as just that. He would just shake his head and laugh when my mom would come home exhilarated from shopping.

He never seemed rushed. How many people can be so relaxed in a hammock that a cactus wren actually lands on their chest? He did the eyebrow trick later while saying he was just grateful the bird wanted to just rest on him without doing anything else.

He told me there are only a few things in life worth getting upset about. And you deal with those few things when they come up as it’d be senseless to worry about them now.

Instead of saying I was terrible at something ( and oh! The fumbles of mine he witnessed through the years)…he would just say no one should be good at everything.

He was a truth teller, a great dancer, a Bible reader and a non-judging Believer.

He thought that sunshine could fix a lot of things.

He was green before it was politically correct, even hammering out rusty bent nails to re-use and using old milk jugs in extremely creative ways. I suppose that made up for him saying paper towels were one of the world’s greatest inventions. He liked fresh air, wide open spaces and a great steak.

He told me not to worry if I never married as he was a man and he knew first hand what they could be like .

He admired his wife, a pretty view and parents who spent ample time with their children. He found delight in the simplicity of a baby babbling, a comfy chair or a home made cookie.

He just made the world seem cleaner somehow.

“Hey look at you… little mama!?!” he said with surprise as I was knee deep in making lunch for the kids one afternoon. It was as if he was as stunned as I am over how quickly time here rolls by.

He wouldn’t think much of me writing about him. He wasn’t big on good byes…most of my send offs were sealed with a “Behave yourself now ” and a “well… until we meet again”.

When headline news or general conversation turned negative, he would ask who wants to be around someone talking about doom and gloom all day? Anyone can do that. Find others who see the good days ahead. Brighter days are coming…just wait for them.

You know that saying “don’t know what you got…”? I knew.

You would have liked him, maybe even learned a little something from him, but he just couldn’t stay. As his daughter I’d bet he’d want me to wish a Happy New Year. And to remind you brighter days are coming. Even if 08 wasn’t too hard on you, you can always choose to keep looking up, even higher. I can, because of him.

8 Responses to “He couldn’t stay.”

  1. SK Says:

    What a powerful tribute Monica. Sorry your dad isn’t by your side, but it sounds like you keep him in your heart!

  2. glory Says:

    Your dad sounds priceless and someone who brings out the best in one, overlooks the bad, and appreciates the good. It sounds as though his kindness is contagious too.

  3. Dawn Says:

    Sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my father too so I can relate to your feelings. Glad you had a good relationship with him like i did with mine.

  4. kris Says:

    beautiful.

  5. Sheri Says:

    He sounds like a great man! Sorry for your lose, you really were blessed to have him! Thank you for sharing.

  6. Diane Says:

    I too lost my dad. Although I had a good relationship with my dad, anyone would envy your relationship with him. Sorry for your loss.

  7. Pj Says:

    Wow, I read your post about your dad and did it bring back memories for me!!! I lost my dad 20 years ago in Oct, he was only 58. He was an interesting man and he struggled. He had some demons to fight and he did. On his 58th birthday that removed his lung and he made it another 9 months. It was a slow process watching him wither away, but he shared so much in his short time and I only regret that we did not have more time to get to know one another. A simple man, a 3rd grade education, worked in a coal mine to support his mom when his dad died in the war. He taught me so much that you can’t learn from a book. your comment about his hands struck close to home. You may or not be aware of it but there was a country song in the 80’s I think about “Daddy hands”, if you never heard it listen to it… I think you will enjoy it as I did and find some comfort as well in it’s words.
    I wish you well in your grieving process.
    PJ

  8. Brad Says:

    What can I say other than “Wow!!” I am sorry it took me so long to get around to reading this beautiful tribute to a man I would have liked to have known. I will have to settle with knowing his daughter and that is a-okay with me!!!

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