so my soon to be 7 year old is having a party next week that should involve mini golf clubs, power ranger candles and those goofy goody bags that end up all over the floor of the car…except for the plastic star shaped sunglasses and vanilla tootsie rolls  (mama deserves a reward  after all that party planning right?).  Seriously, I start practicing the week before with the pretend present game.  I really don’t want to qualify for Super Nanny and every moms worst fear is having their child pull out a home made gift and scream “YUCK. I Hate IT! AND my Mom is ALWAYS napping!!!!!”  So to avoid that, there is a series of questions I ask before the big event.

“ you just opened a box of half eaten candies with worms in it…what do you say?”

“I love it!…Yummy!” my son replies

“You realize you have gotten 3 of the same thing…what do you say?”

“I always wanted 3 of these. I break toys easily. thanks!” he says.

“you get a shirt. with a  beer stain and a rummage sale $.25 sticker still attached”

“Uhmm..thanks! Fits perfectly!” as he is rolling his eyes now.

“look honey…the neighbors have gifted you a sculpture made out of their dog’s poo…wow, huh?”

“Yeah mom..that will look terrific in your room!”

See? oh…wait a minute.